Kundi Biriyani

Kuree naalukalk munbu nadanna oru sambhavam annu. Oru pidi cheruppakkar New-Year akhoshikkaanayi Kuttanattil ethi. Kayyil 3 kuppi Jack Daniels-um rathriyil mari idaan ulla mundukalum mathramayi avar oru veliya kettuvallath-il keri.

Kuttanad-inte manoharamaya kayal-kaivazhikaliloode aa cheruppakkar yathra arambhichu. Yathra samayam ananthakaram aakkaan kottum, paattum, kookku viliyum, dance-um, kallum, karimeen porichathum, ‘music with body muscles’ okke aa kettuvallathil arangeri. Angane samayam ardharathri ayathodu koode ashtamudi kayal-inu naduvil aa kettuvallam nankooram ittu.

11:55PM

‘Aliya… Ippo New Year avum. 5 minute koodi mathrame ollu.’ Kettuvallathinte balcony-il orumichu koodi irunnu kallu kudichondu irunna aa cheruppakaril aro paranju.

‘Oh My God!!! Vegam randennam koodi ozhikk. New Year avunnathinu munne enikk adi nirthanam’ Kuttappayi paranju.

‘Athenthinada?’Kuruvi samshayam unnayichu.

‘New Year ayaal pinne njan kudikkilla. New Year resolution aanu.’

‘Kazhinja New Year-inum nee ithu thanne alle paranjathu?’

‘Kazhinjathokke nee ingane manassil kondu nadakkaruthu. Namukk athellaam marakkaam aliya. Vegam randennam ozhikkeda…’ Kuttappayi thante kayyil undayirunna glass neetti.

1:10AM

‘Da Kuruvi…’ Kettuvallathinte balcony-il irunnu Kuppi payye vilichu.

‘Hmm…’ Kuruvi mooli

‘Nee urangiyille?’

‘illa…’

‘Baakki ullavanmaru okke off ayi alle?’

‘Aye... illa… avamaru meen pidikkan poyekkua.’

‘ee pathirathriyilo?’

‘Hmm… Kettuvallathile driver-ine vilichondu oru kochu vallathil keri engotto poyittundu.’

‘Eeshwara… ellaam nalla fit alle? avanmaru life jacket ittittundo?’

‘Shaddi polum ittittilla… pinna life jacket.’

1:30AM

‘Aliya… angane New Year ayi. Ninakk orennam koodi ozhikkatte?’ Kuppi chodichu.

‘Hmmm…’ Kuruvi sammatham mooli.

‘Vishakkunnu aliya… oru biriyani kittiyirunnengil…’ JD ozhichukondu Kuppi thante vishamam ariyichu.

‘Kayalinte naduvil ninte achan undakki vechirikkunnoda biriyani?’

‘Ariyilla, chodichu nokkaam… Allengil namukk food order cheythallo? Ivide Dominos Pizza home delivery undo?’

‘Ezhunnettu poda naari…’

1:40AM

Kuppi areyo phone-il vilikkuka aanu. Speaker on cheythu vechittundu.

‘Hello!’ 

‘Hello! Thattukada.’ Irutham vanna shabdam marupadi.

‘Aaa… Thattukada alle?’ Kuppi phone-il orakke chodichu.

‘Athe… Thattukada annu. Parayu…’

[PS: Thattukada, Kerala style restaurant, East Ham, London.]

‘Chetta... Happy New Year! Thattukadayil ulla ellarkkum ente happy new year.’ Kuppi urakke vilichu paranju.

‘Happy New Year. Happy New Year.’

‘Pinne… athe… take-away kittuo?’

‘Pinnentha… entha vendathu?’

‘Athu… Oru 100 kundi biriyani take-away venamayirunnu.’

‘Enthu biriyani?’

‘Oru 100 Kundi biriyani parcel?’

‘Hello… ara samarikkunne?’

‘Ninte ammayappan. Hahahaaaa…’  Kuppi phone cut cheythu.

1:50 AM.

‘Hello Thattukada.’ Veendum athe irutham vanna shabdam phone-il

‘Hello… Happy New Year!!’ Ee kuri Kuruvi annu phone vilichathu.

‘Happy New Year. ’

‘Athe… Kundi biriyani undo chetta?’

‘Areda nee?’

‘Kundi biriyani ille? Anna kundi pollichathu mathi.’

‘Pha!! Naari… areda. Evidunnada nee vilikkunnathu?’

‘Kuttanattil annu. Take-away order cheythaal ivide deliver cheyyo?’

‘Deliver cheyyameda… ninte…’

‘Thankyou verymuch.’ Kuruvi phone cut cheythu.

Ashtamudi kaayalil santosham kondulla attahasam muzhangi.

2:10AM

Kuttappayiyum koottarum thirichu ethi.

‘Meen pidikkaan poyittu vellathum kittiyode?’ Kuruvi chodichu

‘M*iru kitti.’ Kuttappayi vishamam ariyichu.

‘Hmm… athu curry vechu thinnan pattuo?’ Kuruvi-kk thante samshayam unnayichu.

‘Touchings ayittu pattum. …M*iru nalla vishappu.’

‘Njangal oru take-away order cheythittundu. Ippam varum…’ Kuppi paranju.

‘Onnu koodi vilichu nokk.’

Tring Tring...

‘Hello!! Thattukada.’ Veendum athee irutham vanna shabdam.

‘Chetta… njan oru take-away order cheythittundayirunnu. Ithu vare ready ayille?’

Choondayum Shaddiyum

‘Pathari poyi… mone! Pathari poyi njan.’ Alarikkondu kuttapayi veedinte vathil thalli thurannu step-iloode odi melottu keri.

‘Evide ayirunnadey ithuvare?’ Avante purakil ninnirunna njan vilichu chodichu.

‘Onnum parayanda… njan oru pradhanappetta sthalathu poyittu varua.’
‘Athevida?’

‘Police Station-il. 10 min thaa. Njan onnu kakkooss-il potte.’ Kuttappayi odi kakkoosse-il keri vaathil adachu.

Kuree nerathinu shesham…

Adukalayil ninnum oru glass vellam eduthu kudichondu Kuttappayi paranju.‘Enthoru rajyam anende ithu? Oru Bengali-yude kadayil ninnum randu chappathiyum oru kozhicurry-yum kazhichathe ollu. Avan enne £18 charge cheythu ennu mathram alla, ente vayarum kedayi. Kakkoosse-il irunnu ethra time anu waste akkiyathu’

‘Hmmm… Ninte kayyil irippu manassilayaal aarkkum Vim kalakki tharaan thonnum.’ Oru ashareeri pole Kuppiyude shabdam evidunno kettu.

‘Nee enthina police station-il poyathu? Ithu complaint cheyyano?’ Njan kuttappayi-odu chodichu.

‘Ohh!! Atho… athu oru kadha annu. Njan meen pidikkaan poyatha… enne police pidichondu poyi, Dasa.’

‘Meen pidikkan poyathinu enthinada police pidikkunnathu?’

‘Richmond-Upon-Thames-il oru park undu. Avide side-il irunnaal Thames-il choonda idaan pattum. Njan-um Simon-um randu choonda-yum okke ayittu ravile avide poyi irunnu. Veyilathu konachu kuthi kuree neram irunnathu micham. Meen onnum kittiyilla. Kuree kazhinjappam oru Police-ukaran vannu license kanikkaan paranju. Simon avante driving license eduthu koduthu. Appo Police-karan parayua. ‘I don’t need your driving license; where is your fishing rod license?’

‘Fishing  rod license-o?’ Athu kettu Kuppi room-il ninnum chaadi irangi odi vannu.

‘Umm… fishing-rod license. Njan vicharichu aa Police-karan thamashichathu anennu. Avane kandittu oru police-karante look onnum illarunnu. Mufti-il ayirunnu ennu thonnunnu. Athokondu njan mind cheythilla. Shalyam koodiyappam njan avane theri paranju odichu.’

‘Ennittu?’

‘Avan poyi kuppayam itta original police-kare vilichondu vannu. Njan-um Simon-um avanmarude koode Police Station vare oru trip okke adichittu thirichu vannu. Oru Warning-il kaaryam othungi.’

‘Hahaha… ninakk angane thanne venam. Ivide choonda idaan license venam ennu ninakk ariyathillarunno?’ Kuppi chodichu.

‘Ninakk arimayirunno?’ Kuttapayi ascharyathode thirichu chodichu.

‘Enikk ariyillayirunnu. Pakshe ippo ariyaam.’

‘Mai**re!! Enthu koppile rajyamade? TV kaanan license venam. Choonda idaan
license venam. Ini moothram ozhikkaanum license venam ennu parayuo?’

‘Ninakk chilappo vendi varum. ’ Njan paranju.

‘Ilakkalle… ilakkalle… Choonda idaan poya njangal Warning-um vangi, fine-um adachu. Bengal-yude kadayil ninnum kazhichu vayarinu adichu kitti ennu mathramalla kuree cash-um poyi. Shaddy keeri ennu paranjaal mathiyallo.’

‘Adutha pravashyam choonda idaan povumbol shaddy idenda. Appo keerillallo…’  Kuppi abhiprayam prakadippichu.

Vella Kuthira

Pandu tharavaadinte muttathu akasham mutte valarnnu ninnirunna oru plavu undayirunnu ennu ammachi paranju kettittundu. Daridryam vannu kadam keri aduppile puka kedarayappol appachan athu vetti vittu ennu annu ammachi ennodu paranjirunnathu. Thadi vetti vittathil Appachan oru bhagam swayam arupichu panitha oru charu kasera undu. Innu tharavattile ente ormakal ulpade ellaam dravichu thudangiyanenglum ee kasera mathram annu innu dravikkathe kidakkunnathu.

Orikkal oru vaikunneram njan aa kasera kazhuki vrithiyakki thudachathinu shesham varanthayil kondu poyi ittu. Ennittu oru valli baniyan-um lungi-yum uduthu appachan visramikkarullathu pole ente randu kaalukalum kaserayude neenda kaikalil eduthu vechu chaari kidannu. Manoharamaya ente pazhaya tharavaadu muttathottu nokki alpa neram pazhaya ormakal kandu mayangaam ennu karuthi.

Daridryam ayirunnengilum appachan marikkunnathu vare aduppile thee kedathe sookshichirunnu. Innu tharavattil oru kattan kappi ittu kudikkan polum margam illa. Aduppellaam dravichu venneerayi. Innu athu pakshe daridryam kondalla, tharavattil varshangal ayittu arum thamasam illa. Rando moonno masam koodumbol oru ammavan vannu muttam okke vrithi akkippichu, thenga okke ideeppichu kondu pokum. Veedu okke thurannu nokkaan arka neram?

Innu aa tharavattil enikk koottu irikkaan oru chakki poocha mathram. Njan avale eduthu madiyil vechu thalodi. Appachan pandu oru England-karan sayippinte estate-ile udyogasthan ayirunnu ennu kettittundu. Appachante madiyil keri irunnu estate-ile visheshgal kelkarullathu njan orthu. Enikk appachante kadhakal valya ishtam ayirunnu. Sayippum appachanum valya koottukaru ayirunnu ennu ammachi parayarundu. Kaattil nayattinu randu perum orumichu annu povunnathu. Kaattanakalum, maanukalum, kaattupothum, puliyum okke ulla appachante kadhakal kettu manikoorukalolam njan irikkum.

India-kk swathanthryam labhikkunnathinu ethanam varshangalkk munpe thanne sayippu estate okke vittu  thirichu England-ilekk poyi ennanu ammachi parayaru. Aa kaalathu Phone-um Email-um onnum illathirinnathu kondu avanam Appachante aaa suhruthu bandham avide avasanichu.

Pinneedu orikkal njan kettu, Appachan Indian National Army-ile angam ayirunnu ennum, koottalikalude kayyil ninnum suhruthineyum kudumbathineyum arum ariyathe England-ilekk kadathiyathu anennum. Pinneedu Appachan INA-yudeyum Imperial Japanese Army-yudeyum spy aryirunnu ennum  Burma-ilum Calcutta-ilum okke undayirunnu ennum varshangal olivil jeevikkendi vannittundennum okke palarum paranju kettittundu. 

Ithokke satyam aano ennu chodichaal Ammachiyude mukham vaadum. Joli sambandamaya avashyangalkk varshangal naattil undayirunnilla ennullathu ammachi sammathikkunnundu. Pakshe anganeyonnum cheyyano nadakkano ulla kazhivonnum adiyaanu illayirunnu ennanu ammachiyude vaadam.

Appachan orikkalum Keralath-inu veliyil poyittundu ennu ennodu paranjirunnilla. Pakshe appachan kaivasham vechirunna pusthakangalum appachan ezhuthiyirunna diary-kalilil kandirunna Bengaliyum, Hindiyum , Thamizhum okke mattoru kadha annu paranjirunnathu. Sthalapperukalum alkaarude perukalum athil undayirunnathayi njan orkkunnilla. Appachan marikkunnathinu varshangalkk munpe thanne ee pusthakangal okke aprathyaksham avukayum cheythirunnu.

Orikkal vaikunneram appachan enneyum kondu vayalil koodi nadakkuka ayirunnu. Vayalinu naduvil koodi ozhukunna thottil  enneyum othu chaadanum meen pidikkaanum okke appachanu valya ishtam ayirunnu. Valuthavumbol aravaan annu ishtam ennu appachan orikkal ennodu chodichu. 5 vayassu prayam ulla njan entho viddhitham paranju kaanum. Marupadi kettu appachante mukham vadiyathu njan orkkunnu.

Kurachu neram varambathu keri irunnathinu shesham appachan ennodu paranju, ‘Ninte appane oru Engineer akkanam ennayirunnu ente agraham. Pakshe enikk athu saadhichilla.’

‘Ummm…’ Njan meen pidikkunna thirakkil ayirunnu.

‘Sahacharyam angane ayirunnu.’

‘Appeeee… irangi vaa. Dee ivide.’ Njan ottaal eduthu thottil oru bhagathu kuthi. ‘Ithil meen undu, vegam vaa.’

‘Nee padichu veliya aalu avanam. England-il ponam. Ente oru koottukaran undu avide.’

Innu aa thottil vellam illa, vayal-il unangiya pochayum veranda cheli kundukalum mathram. Aa mannu kaalaye poottiya kaalam kandittu ippo varshangal ayi.

Varanthayil irunnu doore ulla aa vayal kaanumbol ullil innum aaa ormakal odi ethum. Ammachi chaya kudikkaan vilikkumbol appachanum njanum muttathekk odi ethum. Avilu nanachathum kazhichu chayayum kudichu koottukarum othu “ettu kali” thudangaan ulla samayam ayi. Appachan madalu keeri ettu kalikkaan pakathinu apachante England-ile penakkathi kondu vrithiyayi vetti tharum.

Kalikkunnathu njanum ayalathe peekkiri koottukarum mathram ayirunnengilum vaakku tharkkavum , vazhakkum appachanum nattukarum thammil ayirunnu.

‘Oru vella veezhatte, aa kuthira kuthira.’ Njan karu vari melottu eriyumbol appachan attahasikkum. Kuthira veenillengil annathe karyam pokka.

‘Kazhuveride mone… ninnodalle paranjathu kuthira idaan?’ Appachan tholile thorthu eduthu thalli veeshi enne koottathil ninnum odikkum. Varanthayil irunnu njan ariyathe chirichu poyi.

Namukku vayanokkaan munthirithoppukal

Naattil randennam okke adichu kavalayil oru kalinginte mukalil keri irunnu vayanokkunnathu ethoru keraliyanum sukham kittunna oru kaaryam annu. Vazhiye pokunna penkochu kaanan kollamo illeyo ennullathu vishayam alla. Enthengilum oru comment pass akkiyillengil world cup final miss ayathu pole ulla vishamam annu chilarkk. Ivide London-il angane oru kalingu kandu pidikkunna kaaryam "next to impossible" annenna njan adyam okke karuthiyirunnathu. Pakshe aa karuthal thettannu ennullathu adhikam thamasiyathe thanne enikk manassilayi.

Sadharan reethiyil oru malayali jawan polum varaan chance illatha oru area annu Holborn. Vaikunneram oru pub-il kurachu english suhruthukkalde koode arumadichathinu shesham payye 'Central Line' pidikkaan thirichu nadakkuayirunnu njan. Appo main street-il ninnum alpam akathottu keri oru palliyude step-il athaa irikkunnu parichayam ulla moonu malayali mukhangal. Ellaavante kayyil-um oro Kronenberg undu. Police-inu kandaal manassilavathe irikkaan karutha plastic cover-il pothinju pidichu oro sip adichondu irikkuannu ee mahanmar.

Pakalu kandaal oru pound polum kadam tharathavanmaru annu. Pakshe, kallu kudiyanmarkk idayil ulla oru gentleman's agreement annennu thonnunnu, 'Aliya.. inna pidi, orennam adichittu po.' Offer njan nishedichilla. Avide kurachu neram kuthi irikkaam ennu karuthi.

'Aliya... de ival kollaam alle aliya?' Athu paranja aalde peru enikk orma kittunnilla. Thalkaalam njan addehathe Shashi ennu vilikkatte.
'Edi naari... nee kollaam ketto.' Koode undayirunna mattoru vidwaan parannu. Alpam kazhijappo athaa mattoru sundari. High heels okke ittu, swarna mudi okke ulla. 'Edi koothare... Nee charakk annu ketto!!!' Shashi veendum comment irakki.

Duniyavinte ella konil ninnum ulla sundarimar njangal irikkunna palliyude munnil koodi valathottum idathottum angane nadannu pokunnundayirunnu. Chila sundarimarkk thirakk kaaranam comments kittan ulla bhagyam undayilla.

Alpa samayathinu shesham Shashi 'Aliya... aa varunnavale kandittu oru malayali look undu.' Njan avale onnu sookshichu nokki. Avalde heels-inu at least onnara adi pokkam varum. Mudi straight annu pakshe chembippichittundu, kannukalkk nalla thilakkam, lipstick-inu nalla katti, niranja marukalde pakuthi purathu kaanam. Vayar bhagam electric guitar-inte pole ullilottu chotti otti irikkunnu. Thudakalkk theere vannam illa. Churukki paranjaal oru vambam piece. Malayalikalkk ithra glamour-o. 'Aye illilla... ival malayali avan chance illa.' Njan Shashiye thiruthi
'Alle? Anna kuzhappam illa...' Thirinju ninnu Shashi avalodu 'edi... ninne thannedi... edi naari, edi koothare.' Shashi usual comments irakki.

Nadannu poya aval thirinju ninnu Shashiye oru 2 second nokki enittu ochathil. 'Pha naari!!! Poyi ninte ammaye vilikkeda nayinte mone.' Kettu irunna njan nadungi poyi; kayyile beer can thazhe veenu step-il koodi urundu urundu avalde heels-il chennu thatti ninnu. Oru nimisham aval step-il irunna ellareyum onnu maari maari nokki enittu  undane angu nadannu poyi.

Pakshe Shashi world cup final jayicha santhoshathode step-il ninnum thulli chaadi. Kannukalil vijayasreelalithan ayathinte thilakkam. Thante kayyil ulla beer can-il ninnum oru kavil eduthu irakkiyathinu shesham enne thirinju nokki 'Kando Kando! Njan paranjille aval malayali anennu.'
'Hmmm... malayali thanne.' Njan paranju.

Enthayalum athinu shesham avide irunnu aarum otta sundarimare polum pinne comment adichilla.

Kuppiyum kathiyum police-um

Pathivu pole thale divasam mookkattam kallu kudichathu karanam office-ilekk irangaan vaiki. Shwasam pidichu Tube station-il ninnum office-ilekk valichu vittu nadakkumbol oru phone call. Ayalvasi aya oru Romanian undu, Mihai, ayaalde call annu.
'Hi Mihai! Good morning!! What's up?' Njan chodichu.
'Hello mate, Good morning, I guess, we have a problem.'
'What problem?'
'I'm sorry to say this but your friend has been taken by the police.'
'WHAT?'
'Yeah! I'm not so sure about what happened. There were around 3-4 police vehicles flashing lights in front of your house. I saw your friend being handcuffed by two cops. He was locked up into the backside of a big van and taken away. I was too scared to ask the cops any further details.'
'WHOLLY SSHHH...'
'I'm sorry mate.'
'Ohh!! Mihai, do you know where they took him?'
'Not sure... probably the Forest Gate police station, I guess.'
'Hmmm... thankyou. Let me check.'
'Also I overheard someone. ...that your friend was frightening everyone in the street with a big knife. To me, he seemed to be a nice guy. I had talked to him yesterday evening. He seemed perfectly fine. Is everything OK with him recently?'
'Yeah!! But I don't know Mihai. He was sleeping when I started from home. I'm not sure what went wrong. We drank a little too much yesterday night. But that shouldn't be a problem. We've done that many times before. Anyway, let me see.'
'Keep me posted, huh?.'
'Sure!! Cheers mate. Bye!'

'Koothara Kuppikk ravile ithu enna pattiyatha? Vishappu moothu pranthu ayathu anno. Phone vilichittu edukkunnathum illa. Ini enthu cheyyum' Njan thalapukanju alochichu. Office-il kaaryam vilichu paranjittu adutha tube-il keri njan nere Forest Gate police station-ilekk vechu pidichu.

Station Reception-il sundari aya oru police-kari 'Hello... Good morning. How can I help?'
'Hiya!! My friend has been arrested.'
'Okay!! Please wait here. I'll be with you in a short while.'

Chumma wait cheyyan pattuo? Njan phone book-il kanda ellavareyum vilichu
'...Ithannu sambhavam, enthu cheyyanam?'
Palarum pala reethiyil ulla upadeshangal annu. Kure peru kuppikk vattayirikkum ennu paranju, kurachu peru enthengilum help venamengil vilikkan paranju. Onnu randu peru Solicitors-ine okke arrange cheythu thannu. Tension adichu viyarthu ninnirunna enne police-kari veendum vilichu 'Please fill this form. Your friend's name, age, address etc. I'll check in our system and get back to with the details.'

Form-il fill cheythu kodutha details anusarichu computer-il ninnum aval details thappi eduthu 'Your friend has been charged for possessing dangerous weapon in the public with the intention of injuring or murdering innocent civilians.'
'Ohh my god. I guess there has been a mistake.'
'Probably, but he's being interrogated at the moment. If he wants, he will be allowed to call you after that. You don't need to wait here.'

Avide ninnittu kaaryam illa ennu pidi kitti. Police-karu thanne oru free solicitor-ine arrange cheythu. Avane oru 6x4 cell-il ittirikkuannu; arodum samsarikkaan pattilla. Njan payye veettilekk nadannu.

Oru 2-3 manikoor-inu shesham enikk oru call
'Eda... kuruvi, ithu njanada, Kuppi.' karanju nilavilchondu oru shabdam.
'Nee ithu evida?'
'Eda, enne police pidicheda.'
'Enikk ariyaam. Ninakk ennatha vattayo? Ravile kathi eduthu veeshi naattukare pedippikkan irangi ennanallo kettathu.'
'Kayyil kathi undayirunnu ennullathu sheri annu. Thames Water-il ninnum ravile phone vannirunnu. Water meter nokki reading parayaan paranju. Njan water meter-ine moodi (lid) thurakkaan adukkalayil ninnu kathi ayittu purathu irangiyatha.'
'Pinne engana police pidichathu?'
'Njan moodi thurakkaan sramichondu footpath-il nilathu kuthi irikkuayirunnu. Oru 5 min kazhinjappol purakil ninnum randu peru vannu chavitti kootti nilathu ittu. Ennittu kayyile kathi pidichu vangi; ennittu kai randum pinnilottu akki hand-cuffs ittu. appozhannu police anennu manassilayathu.'
'Hahaha... mandan! Ninakk vaa thurannu paranjoodayirunno?'
'Njan kallan alla police-e ennu oru nooru pravashyam ee nayinte makkalodu njan paranjatha. Pakshe sammathikkende?'
'Ennittu?'
'Ennittu onnum illa. Kaaryam okke pidi kittiyappol avaru enne thurannu vittu. Enikk vishakkunneda. Kayyil otta cash illa; Oru police-karante kayyil ninnum 50p kadam vangi annu ninne vilikkunnathu. Ithu ippo cut avum. Jacket polum illathe njan ee thanuppathu engottu povum? Njan jetty polum ittittu illa aliya, urakkathil ninnum nere ingu poruayirunnille. Nee office-il anno?'
'Nee avide thanne nikk. Njan oru 15min edukkum ethaan.'

Njan oru Jacket ayittu station-inte aduthu ethiyappol oru electric post-il chari ninnu oruthan cigarette valikkunnu.
'Ninakk cigarette evidunnu kitti?' Kayyile jacket koduthondu njan Kuppiyodu chodichu.
'Coral-inte chillu thallipotticha case-il akathaya oru criminal suhruthu thannatha.'
'Ohho nee ippo avarokke ayittu anno koottu.'
'Ummm... mattoru suhruthu nalla kanjavu kittunna sthalam paranju thannu. Avan contact number okke thannittundu. Eppo venamengilum vilichaal mathi enna paranjirikkunnathu.'
'Nannayi... Vayanottam kurakkaam. London-il ninakk puthiya business ayi.'
'Nammalodu deshyam ulla etho ayalvasi annu police-ine vilichathu. There is man on the street with a knife ennu oru thalla vailichu paranju enna police-karu ennodu paranjathu.'
'Ahha!! Ninne kandaal oru criminal look pande ullatha. Kallu kudichu rathri veedinte munnil kidannu bahalam vekkaruthu ennu njan paranjittullathu alle?'
'Pazham murichaal polum muriyatha kathi annu. Athu adukalayil chennu edukumbol ingane okke avum ennu njan swapnathil polum vicharichilleda.'
'Enittu aa kathi evide?'
'Kathi avaru eduthu. Athu thirichu thannilla.'
'Nee chodichille?'
'Pinne... engane irangi porum ennu vicharichu irikkumbol annu, kopile kathi.'
'Aake undayirunna kathi annu.'
'Athu sheri appo kathi poyathil annu ninakk vishamam. Allathe njan anubhavicha mano vishamathinum mana bhangathinum ninakk yathoru vishamavum illa, alle?'
'Theere illa!!! Ninakk angane thanne varanam. Vrithikettavan!! Ithu purathu parayaan pattuo? Nee oruthane kuthi malarthiyittu annu ivide nilkunnathu ennu undengil oru weight okke undayirunnu. Enikk abhimanam thonniyene.'
'M**reeee!!!'
'Ithu orumathiri... ayye!! Che!!! Naale ithu mattullavarodu paranjaal avaru enne kaliyakkum.'
'Nee ithu thalkaalam arodum parayanda.'
'Nee station-il anennu ulla kaaryam ellaarkum ippo ariyaam'
'Athengane?'
'Njan vilichu paranjayirunnu.'
'Nayinte mone...'

Tissue Paper

Orikkal randennam vittathinu shesham Kuppiyude koode irunnu Barking Road-il ulla Al Farooq-il irunnu kebab kazhichondu irikkuka ayirunnu njan. Enthu pattiyennu ariyilla, Kuppiyude mood pettannu mari
'Da Kuruvi, Aal ayaal thara venam, aduthorambalam venam enokke nee kettittille?'
'Kettittondu. Esthapan fit ayaal eppozhum paadunna pattu annu.'
'Hmmm... Enikk aa aalum, ambalavum, kulavum, ambili ammavaneyum okke kaanan thonnunneda.'
'Ee ambili ammavan evidunnu vannu?'
'Ammavan illa... ambili mathrame ollu.'
'Athara?'
'Avalu ente pazhaya line ayirunnu. Ente Ambili !!'
'Ohho!!'
'Kandeda njan avale kandu. Ichira vannam okke vechu... innu uchakk Thattukada-il vannirunnu, avalde husband-inte koode.'
'Husband-o?'
'Oru kaattu makkaan. Nalloru penkochu ayirunnu. Enne velya istam ayirunnu.'
'Pinne avalu enna vere kettiyathu?'
'Avalde koottukari Anjali-ye njan line valikkunnundu ennulla kaaryam oru naari avalodu poyi paranju koduthu.'
'Vrithikettavan.'

Kebab kazhichu veettilottu nadakkuayirunnu.

Altmore Avenue

Kuppi 'Naattil ellarudeyum vicharam ivide enikk ivide pound kulukki idunna maram undenna.'
'Recession ayirunna samayathu athu paranju engilum pidichu nilkamayirunnnu.'
'Hmmm... Recession oru mazha pole pettannu angu vannechum poyi.'
'Recession veendum varuthaan entha oru vazhi?'
'Barking-ile panchayathu aappeess-il oru apeksha samarpichu nokk.'

Burges Road

'Priya Bar-il joli cheythirunna aa pennundallo... ennatha.. aa Sonia. Nee ippo avale kurichu onnum parayunnathu kelkunnillallo. Avalayittu valya phone viliyum karakkavum okke ayirunnallo.' Kuruvi chodichu
'Hmmm...'
'Enthayi? Ennittu vellom nadakkuo?'
'Illa...'
'Athenna...'
'Avalu naattil poyi. Ini varum ennu thonnunnilla.'
'Eh?'
'Avalde kalyanam anennu thonnunnu.'
'Appo nee line valichathu okke verutha ayo?'
'Hmmm...'

High Street

'Che!! Annalum... nammalu avalde purake nadannu verthe samayam kalanju.'
'Samayam kalanjathu potte... ente 250 pound-um poyi.'
'Atheppo koduthu?'
'Annu rathri avale veettil kondu poyi vidaan nerathu randu umma okke thannittu vangichondu poyi. Randu azchathekk ennu paranjaa vangiyathu. Ippo randu masam kazhinju. Oru kuppi vangaan polum ippo kayyil cash illa.'
'Enthokke ayirunnu... Phone-il koodi umma kodukkal, vangal, umma kodukkal, vangal. Pathira thanuppathu konachu kuthi avale cinemakk kondu povunnu, veettil kondu poyi akkunnu, sweet dreams parayunnu, Malappuram kathi, naadan bombu'
'Nirtheda...'
'Ottakk thinnaan kondu poyathalle... Ennittu enthu patti? Kaakka kondu poyo?''
'Oru kallu kudiyan mattoru saha kallu kudiyane ingane choriyaruthu.'
'Ooo pinne... Sonia-yude phone number chodichappam nee ennodu ennatha paranjathu? Enikk Hindi ariyathilla, athu kondu njan vilichaal sheriyavathilla ennokke. Alle? Ninakk angane thanne varanam.
'Nee poda thendi, njan ente cash alle koduthathu. Njan sahichu.'
'Oru 500 pound kodukkamayirunnille? Avalkk kalyanam kazhinju kettiyone kettipidichu kidakkaan oru sapramancha kattil koodi sponsor cheyyada. Complement ayittu ninte photo pathicha kuree tissue paper-um. Ellathilum - With Love, Kuppi ennu koodi ezhuthi cherthekk.'
'Mathiyeda!!!'

25 to Illford

'Paathira Kazhappu' ennu nammal parayum; avanmaru athinu 'night life' ennum parayum. Orikkal angane oru pathiraykk karakkam kazhinju Picadilly Circus-il ninnum No. 25 Bus-il idichu keri. Ente koode randu malayali suhruthukkal undu. Ellarum nalla fit annu. Rathriyil 25 annu East London-ilottu pokaan ulla eka margam. Tube (Trains) 12:00 kazhinjaal illa. (Cash ullavarkku taxi vilikkaam).

25-il nalla thirakk annu. Thirakk ennu paranjaal idichu keri njekki njerungi nilkanam. Serikkum paranjaal thottu aduthu nilkunnathu oru tharunimani anengil yathra anandakaram akum. Idakkottu oru kozhi mutta pottichu ozhichaal, athu olichu thazhe ethunna kaaryam samshayam annu. Bus-inte akathu kallinteyum kanjavinteyum sundarimarude perfume-inteym okke manam. Night life-il dance kalichu, sorry thiruthatte - pennungalude koode kudichu koothadi vannu valinju keri nilkunna kootharakalde viyarppu nattavum. Ethu madyapikkatha police-karanum thaane fit ayi povum.

Bus-inte vathil automatic annu; oro bus stop-il ethumbozhum driver switch amarthum; vathil thurakkum; udane vathilkal nilkunnavar thirakk-inte pressure-il purathekk therichu veezhum; ezhunnettu veendum thalli kerum; driver vathil adakkum. Ithannu sthithi. Angane ee vandi London-ile theruvukali koode odikkondu irikkuannu.

Algate-il ethiyappol oru couple vandiyil keri. Chullan aya oru payyanum avante girlfriend ayirikkanam, sundari aya oru cheruppakkariyum. Couple-inteyum enteyum idakk ente randu malayli suhruthukal bodham illathe aadi ulanju nilppundu.

Yathra thudarnnappol, Couple door-il chari ninnu enthekkyo... kettippichum, umma vechum kalikkaan thudangi. Sahayathrikante maryada enna reethiyil njan udane avarodu paranju "Dude!! You would fall out if the doors open. Be careful. huh?" Udane marupadi "No English. Spanish Spanish!!" Bhagyam... Enikk spanish ariyathathu kondu pinne athorthu budhimuttendi vannilla. 'Koothara! English ariyathe London thendaan irangiyirikkunnu.' Bus-il evidenno malayalathil oru ashariri kettu.

Ente pinnil aaro malayalam samsarikkunnathu pole thonni. Thirinju nokkiyappol randu vamban piece-ukal. alla... veendum thiruthatte; mukhathu kuree chayam vari pooshi, purikam okke chirandi kalanju, kayyil maangandi polathe purse-um okke thookki ittu randu malayali tharunimanikal. Randu perkkum vasthram valare kuravu annengilum athinte yathoru ahankaravum mukhathu kaanan illa. Ente purathu otti nilkuka annu.
Athil oruthi 'Edi edi... ente athinte valli azhinju thudangyo ennu oru samshayam.'
'Pathukke parayedi, ee front-il nilkunnavane kandittu oru malayali look undu.'
'Avan malayali allengil avanu kollaam.'
Njan malayali alla ennulla mattil muscle okke pidichu cool dude ayittu ninnu. Malayalam pettannu marannu poyo ennu polum njan samshayichu poyi.

Ithinte idakk driver evideyo vechu shakthiyil break chavitti. Bus ulanjappam athil oruthi avalde kalil ittirunna luttappiyude kuntham pole ulla cherippu ittu ente kalil otta chavittu. Vedana eduthaal ethu malayaliyum urakke karanju povum 'ENTE AMMEEEEEY!!!'
Appo avalumaril oruthi 'Kando, njan paranjille ivan malayali anennu.'

Ee sambhavathinu  thottu purake ente malali suhruthukalil oralude nilavili kelkaam 'HUSH HOOYY... HALLOOO...'
'Ennathada avide? Nee enna njeripiri kollunnathu?' Njan chodichu
'Eda!! ee thendi spanish karanodu para - Avan pidichu njekkunnathu ente kundikk anenn. Allathe avante girlfriend-inte kundi allennu para."